hot take: moms need to learn how to listen to and comfort their daughters without making everything about their own traumas
a classic example
daughter: hey this thing you do bothers me very much and i wish you wouldn’t do it
mom: well my parents abused me and im not even as bad as they were and i had to sit through it so you gotta sit through whatever i do to you too
a common variant
mom: well i’m having a really hard time right now and you know that i’m doing my best and that i didn’t mean to hurt you ergo you are in fact the asshole for asking me to consider your feelings and change my behavior during this hard hard time i’m having
least favorite
mom: fine. you’re right and i’m wrong and i’m a horrible person. there. are you happy now?
see also
mom: you can’t be mad at me. you’re not allowed to be mad at me. i can’t stand it.
Last two are definitely my mom and hence why he don’t talk.
Dude, sick reference to Snoop Dogg smoking weed. I can’t believe you’re so clever. You were clever enough to bring up Sm – Snoop smoking weed on your stream, because you KNEW that Snoap Dogg smoke weed, and Smoke Dogg, he is s҉m҉d҉snoop. And you KNEW that if you brought up the Smook Dogg smokin 𝚍veed, that you – people would know that! And they would 𝕔𝕝𝕒𝕡!
I now see why I struggled with showing my interests to my parents when I was a kid.
I’m listening to my cousin going on about Fortnite. The kid adores the game and is talking about the battle pass and he how hopes to get it later on today.
My mum just flatly says she doesn’t know what that means and has told him to hurry up as they go through the door, not giving my cousin any wiggle room to explain what it means. Fortnite is special to him, he wants to talk about it, he wants to engage but how can he when at that moment, the adult he’s talking to shuts him down?
Why can’t some people just take a damn minute to listen, REALLY listen to what kids are saying? He’ll now sit in the car in complete silence because his aunt isn’t interested in what he likes.
I’m not saying everyone has to be a fountain of knowledge for things like that. Hell, you don’t have to like what another person’s into but for the love of god, at least TRY and give it a go in understanding why it’s so important to that person.
“Oooh, that sounds neat! Tell me about it?” Is one of the best things you can say to a kid. (Or an author.) It matters less that you understand it than it does that they are allowed- are *encouraged*- to explain it
And also, if you’re truly lost:
“I’m not sure what that is, can you explain it to me?”
Kids LOVE getting to tell an adult something the adult doesn’t know. It makes them feel important because hey, we’re grownups! We know everything! Wait, we don’t? Wow! Let me tell you!
also if you’re like me you’ve had your family just up and say everything you like is stupid and that’s like. the worst possible thing please just fuckin listen to kids
Or if you really are in a rush say “hey I’m in a rush now but I can tell you care about this so how about you tell me later?” And then later actually follow through and say “hey so explain that thing you like to me, I have time now”. Show that you’re listening even when real life gets in the way, and teach them not only how to be patient and find good times to talk about things but also that you care about them
